The Mass Text Message Craze, I have a question.
As I sit here, on this wonderful Valentine’s Day holiday; watching dozens of text messages bombard my phone like that satellite that is going to bombard this very earth , or like the bullets that whizzed by a college in Illinois (they made ‘illa’ noise. is it to soon for that joke?) Today, a few questions arose in my head.
1. Who actually reads these?
They are never useful (unlike my Barack Obama election text updates). It’s always a retarded joke or picture or some attempt of someone to be clever that got passed through a bunch of immature idiots like a fucked up version of ‘The Telephone Game’.
Now this isn’t a knock on you ladies out there, but women I would presume are responsible for 99.9% of these messages. Who thinks it’s a good idea to have this crap beep in their pocket and thinks, gee my entire phone contact list need to REEEAD this!!! (These are always MASS text messages hence not personal — and are the equivalent of saying “I don’t even care enough about you to write you a note I’ll just regurgitate some tripe that my airhead friend read on tmz.com”)
I can safely say this. I could go the rest of my life without one of these monstrosities beeping in my pocket just as easy as I could give up ’small talk’ on a date, or a colonoscopy.
But Mike, get rid of them, turn off the text message service! Ah, not so fast. Women have picked this format for communication, in fact, many as a primary form of contact. Primarily because they can say more sexual or devious things that they don’t have the guts to say and/or want to make discreet contact (i.e., talk to the boyfriend they are banging while with their husband). I’ve always considered them a step back, but for a man who enjoys sex when I can get it I can’t afford to turn these off.
I digress this brings me to point # 2 in regards to MASS text messaging…
2. Don’t you have people in your list that you might not want to see these sometimes inappropriate MASS text messages?
I don’t know if these girls are making special lists in their phones that just go to friends (so the boss doesn’t get your MASS text dirty joke.).I think that would be giving them a bit too much technical credit. I have a second guess. I think women or men for that matter that send these MASS text messages are generally losers.
Now you may be self-employed and can flood your phone with these messages, but what girl these days is self-employed. Someone name one under 30 that’s not famous?
I will take an example from my own life to be fair. My ex girlfriend. One of the biggest culprits of this sends these ALL the time. She is a loser. By that I mean she’s had 5 jobs in 3 years, has been fired in 3 of those is not attending school, and works at a bar as a bartender. Now bartenders can do well…but not in a small mountain community, in the middle of nowhere (don’t get it twisted this isn’t a hot nightclub).
Now to be fair I will use a male example. A rapper friend of mine (I also am in hip-hop) sends out a mass text message about shows he will be at. Now, on one hand, if you had a separate purpose-built phone for this it would actually be a great marketing tool! Remember though, I’m talking about losers. This is the same phone he calls his mother with, a phone if he had a job that would contain his work contacts. I don’t want my again, conservative employer knowing what I do in my personal life, it’s a smoking gun. Again, maybe he set up a friends’ list, but I think that would probably be giving him way too much credit. Why? because I know he’s a loser, he has no job, lost it for smoking drugs on the job, and is currently a bum who asked to borrow money from me on more than one occasion. See the trend? Now I know it’s only two people, coincidence? I think not.
I think, in general, while she may be an extreme example; she fits the stereotype or generalization for the woman or man sending these mass text messages. I for one would never send one of these in a million years. I’m going to send a ‘Happy Valentines Day” message to my male Regional Manager, or the two Male CEO owners of the company that employs me? How about to my male friends? How about a dirty joke do I want these mostly conservative power-figures in my life getting that? No. I am a winner. I don’t send mass text messages.
In conclusion my basic findings are from this scattered thought of mine are the following; People, in general, that send mass text messages are likely losers, and have no accountability in their lives for anything (the type of person both men and women crave so vehemently) They have way too much time on their hands and need to redirect their energy and GET some phone numbers in that phone that would be a risk to them to mass text message.
Mass text messagers…Losers with a capital “L”
-Mike, Tenderized Meat contributor and friend
Tags: Barack Obama, Mass Text Messages, Text Messages, Texting, TMZ.com, Valentine's Day