He Went To Jared? F*#k You Jared!
I thought I was through the rough patch. I thought I could finally watch TV in peace. But alas, Valentines Day and all its estrogen themed nausea foiled my plans. You see, there was a veritable onslaught of those jewelry commercials leading up to Christmas and it was starting to drive me a little batty.
Of course, I could have just turned the TV off and done something productive instead…but I digress.
And then for a while after Christmas, it was safe to watch TV whilst eating my baked potato dinner again.
But now, they’re back. In full force. Kay, Jared, Zales…they’re all back and just as annoying. Just with a V-Day coating. Which brings me to this simple question? Why are women stupid? Or maybe I should be asking, how bloomin’ stupid are the men who get suckered into purchasing these shiny death rocks? Real stupid. Asked and answered.
In reality this is a serious problem. Both for my regular TV viewing and for the world in general. Stay with me here.
Firstly, it’s well known that the harvesting of diamonds and other shiny things of worth take a huge toll on the environment and the native people within the environments from which the rocks are found. I’m not an expert by any means, but has no one seen the movie Blood Diamond? If you can get around Leonardo DiCaprio’s South African accent, it’s pretty informative and entertaining. Really it is. People die over these fucking things.
And then there’s us. A world that obsessed with shiny rocks to adorn at cocktail parties and when shopping at high-end retail establishments. A world that is convinced that on certain milestone dates, be it engagements, weddings, anniversaries, Valentines, Christmas, Tuesday…that we must present each other with some sort of jewelry. Placing high fashion value on pretty things is not new, but just because it’s been a societal norm to seek out these pretty things at any cost, doesn’t make it right. And it certainly doesn’t mean we have continue this madness.
But with the proliferation of these mega-huge diamond/jewelry corporations and their seemingly infinite marketing budgets, it seems as if we’re doomed to wade through these ridiculous ads that encourage you to open you heart, and your wallet, but mostly your wallet, and show your significant person that you looooove them. Because without a diamond, you don’t really love your partner do you? You in fact hate them don’t you? You’re not a good husband/boyfriend at all. Not without shiny proof. Because we all know that once you place that exquisitely cut new blood diamond on your woman’s soon-to-be-fat finger, she’s all yours forever. All the bitching and nagging, its all yours and yours alone buddy. And when she goes out for ‘lady’s night’, she’ll have that piece of earth on her finger to prove that she’s spoken for. There’s no possible way that either you or her will be unfaithful after your expensive trip to Jared, right? Right.
To all evil jewelry corporations: Please just let me watch re-runs of CSI in peace. Keep your mind numbing jewelry ads in O magazine.
Tags: Jewelery, Valentines