Tenderized Meat

When I was young and impetuous, I dated a girl that lived 4 doors down the street from me. She was cute enough, or so I thought, and I was a horny teenager who was far from choosy. This white trash trollop was my first girlfriend. She was also my first foray into sex. Yes, I lost my virginity to the neighborhood slut.

She was also responsible for my first, and only, slap in the face. And interestingly enough, the face slap was more memorable than the popping of my virginity cherry.

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This is a follow up to my post on hitting on girls at the gym. While I was at the gym today, waiting for my new band t-shirts to arrive in the mail, I had a great conversation with a rather beautiful young woman. This got me thinking about some ways to ensure success in the gym.

The gym can be one of the most difficult places to talk to women. And the hardest part is breaking through their defense. Women at the gym look good, and they know it. This is mainly because every single guy in the whole place is checking them out. Add into that the fact that when women work out they are in there “burning steam” mode.

Here are some tricks to help you approach girls at the gym and in other defensive situations with ease.

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Wouldn’t you rather eat, nap, exercise, or watch TV instead of breaking out the baby wipes to clean Junior’s ass?

Yes, this question sounds like a no-brainer, but apparently most of the world needs scientific proof. Thankfully, Reason Magazine delivered the goods.

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We have all been in the situation at least once. More likely time and time again. You’re at the gym, and you notice some hot sweaty, Alison Carroll looking girl jogging away on the treadmill. How can you pass up the chance to try and make a move? Here are some guidelines you can follow to increase your chances. (more…)

Peacocking for the Common Man

In The Mystery Method for Introverts: Part I, we provided a brief overview of the “art of seduction,” and added a few baby steps for those who might have cold feet. For a refresher, click here. Much of the Mystery Method is self explanatory, but there are a few topics that we feel we can add a little insight into. Today’s topic: Peacocking.

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We don’t normally do news articles here at Tenderized Meat, but this one stood out.

A little background: I hate Valentine’s Day. I think it’s corporate garbage. No, I’m not going to spend money stuff because De Beers, Hallmark, Godiva and 1-800-Flowers tells me to. No, I’m not going to profess my love through a ridiculous greeting card. I’m not going to follow the flock into higher-than-normal priced restaurants so I can wait forever to be served a smaller, sappier than average portion. And don’t even get me started on what Valentine’s day is like for single people! I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was fun as a kid. But that was mostly because it involved candy.

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It is said that guys tend to treat women like they treat their cars. Being a guy myself and having observed many male friends and non friends of mine over the years, I can subscribe to this theory. Loving it when it’s shiny and new, only to then get bored with it later on. All of a sudden the car you loved begins to show sings of aging. You find a few paint scratches here and there, maybe nick in the windshield. You don’t wash it as often as you used to. Hell, maybe the car is giving you problems and you don’t want to deal with it anymore.

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This Valentine was so pretty, I cant wait until next year!

Valentines day and the days leading up to it can be some of the most stressful for first time couples. Often the guys want to really blow their girlfriends away, even if just to have the favor returned. One standard problem this creates is setting the bar.

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If there is a guy out there that hasn’t experienced a date like this, I’d like to meet him.  Click here for one of the best Craigslist posts ever!

As I sit here, on this wonderful Valentine’s Day holiday; watching dozens of text messages bombard my phone like that satellite that is going to bombard this very earth , or like the bullets that whizzed by a college in Illinois (they made ‘illa’ noise. is it to soon for that joke?) Today, a few questions arose in my head.

1. Who actually reads these?
They are never useful (unlike my Barack Obama election text updates). It’s always a retarded joke or picture or some attempt of someone to be clever that got passed through a bunch of immature idiots like a fucked up version of ‘The Telephone Game’.

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